Be in Love Again

Be in Love Again

Your relationship has ended and life keeps on moving as if nothing has happened. Your heart knows that is not true but your outer exterior shows no signs of defeat. You think of yourself as a survivor yet you have not had a real date in months or even years. It is much easier to build up a wall to keep out the pain than it is to truly heal and begin again. It is very important to give yourself the time you need to heal and get all of the support you need but when you are through the storm, it is time to start over. Don’t let your past pain keep you stuck.

Four Steps to Be in Love Again:

v      Know your authentic self. Are you are ready to find the lasting love of your life?  If yes, then your first step is to get in touch with your authentic self. What are your values, needs and wants? Start by making a list of what is important to you. Then be the partner you want to attract. Like attracts like, so be authentic.

v      Dream bigger. What if you were never willing to settle for second best? Imagine what would be possible. Compose a list of all of the qualities of your ideal mate. Now make a second list that is even more elaborate than the first. You are now getting closer to what is possible. Have you dreamed as big as you truly want to? If not, make a third list that is ever grander. You are worth it!

v      Take action toward your dream. Once you have established what you truly want then get into action. Baby steps are just fine. Start the ball rolling by doing something today. One small step toward your goal can move your life in a whole new direction. Need ideas? Try getting out and meeting new people. This can be as easy as going to a new coffee house or joining a special interest group. Look for a group that supports a cause you believe in. Like minded people will inspire you.

v      Get all the support you need. There are many ways to get support that will be a catalyst for positive change. Tell friends you are now available to date and tell them what your requirements are in a mate. Remember you are not settling for second best. Hire a Relationship Coach, Counselor or other professional to assist you on your journey. Ask yourself; what would best support you and your dream right now?

Are you feeling a bit of fear? Remember what Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  Be the powerful YOU and begin today!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
Copyright 2009
Judith Geiger
Certified Personal Success and Relationship Coach
Flying Change Coaching, LLC

All rights reserved. 

Coach Judith inspires women starting over to let go of stress, to build self-esteem and be proactive in creating loving relationships by developing a strong sense of self. When you are ready to take on the adventure of finding the partner of your dreams, Judith has the tools and resources to allow you to move forward with confidence and ease.

Call or email Coach Judith for a free 30-minute coaching consultation. 315 497 3059

My New Year Gift to You

5-Step Action Guide to Shine Your Light in 2010

Have you ever wondered why it seems so easy for some people to make major changes in their life while others sit back as passive observers wondering what happened? They begin to wonder where their life went wrong. They say things such as, “Why are bad things always happening to me?”  Or, “Doesn’t anybody care how I feel?” If this sounds like you then perhaps it is time to start driving your own bus and stop being a passenger in life.

Taking action is the first step to living an empowered life and who doesn’t want that? If you are thinking yes, I want to do that, but I don’t know where to begin…then you simply start at the beginning.  With this action guide, you will journal your answers to coaching questions as you begin your journey into a life you love. Many of my clients say they start finding their authentic self through this process. It gives them the clarity to not only take action but to achieve their desired results very quickly. These words from Mary Oliver have rung through my mind since first hearing them many years ago.  “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”  Today I invite you to let these same words whisper through your mind as you explore the action steps.  My intention is that these simple words inspire you to look at your life in a new way, then be motivated to take the inspired action needed to put one foot in front of the other as you begin your journey. Don’t forget to fasten your seat belt because it will be a wild ride…if you do the work.

As you read through the 5 steps that follow, slow down and take your time. Don’t rush. Work at your own pace. Answer whatever questions resonate with you and leave the rest. This is your journey not mine. I am only offering these words as a guide for you to find your own path. Just keep in mind that often the questions you resist will give you the biggest rewards, once answered honestly.

Try to find the time to answer the questions in a written format rather than answering them in your mind. Writing the words will allow your senses to get involved. You touch the paper and pen or the keys of your computer, you see the words form, and you will want to breathe deeply a few times before you say the words out loud for impact while you write or type. Saying the words out loud is a declaration to the universe that can be very powerful. The more involved your senses are the more grounded your ideas will be rather than just abstract thoughts. Are you ready? OK…let’s begin:

Step One: Choose what you want.

The first step is deciding what you want. So many people go through life unconsciously. Don’t let that happen to you. Choose what you want and start taking action in that direction today.

While exploring your questions in step one, be playful.  If the answers don’t come right away, be patient. Leave it and revisit later when something comes to mind that relates—because it will. You might try going out for a walk in silence to listen for your own inner knowing. Or take a few minutes to meditate with or without music to put you into a receptive mode.  You want to be open to receive the answers from your inner wise self. Try to be open minded and think way outside of the box. If time, money and possibility had no limits, how would you answer?

“The first principle of success is desire - knowing what you want. Desire is the planting of your seed.” —Robert Collier

  Coaching questions:

1. What did you love to do as a child?

2. List three books or movies you love and why? Do you see any patterns?

3. Who would you like to meet, living or dead? What characteristics do you like about them? Do you have similar qualities or want to achieve them?

4. List 10 things you do not want. Sometimes it is easier to come in the back door of knowing what you do not want to help illuminate what you do want.

5. What are you passionate about?  List 5 places you want to visit or 5 new things you would like to try? (No matter how unattainable they seem at the moment. Remember we are in the dreaming stage where anything is possible.)

Step Two: Set an Intention.

I am often asked, “What does it mean to set an intention?” During my retreats I always ask the participants to set an intention for what they want. What do they want to take away, as a result of their work while on retreat? When setting an intention you are making a statement that you want to follow a certain course of action. It can be either internal or external. It might mean you want more clarity around a desire you have or more peace with how your life is unfolding. Or perhaps you want something more tangible. You would like to know what your next clear step needs to be to get you that promotion at work. Whatever your intention is, you are making a commitment that you desire it to happen.

“When you set an intention, when you commit, the entire universe conspires to make it happen.”

—Sandy Forster

Coaching questions:

1. What is your intention for today?

2. What is your intention for your job, your relationships, and your life?

3. What do you need to have in place for your intention to become a reality?

Step Three: Take Inspired Action and Believe. 

I use the term inspired because taking action without inspiration can be just like a hamster running on a wheel. He runs and runs but never gets to a new destination. Your action will naturally come from you having done the work around your passion and your intention.  One very small step will always lead to another. Depending on your dream each one of you will have a different action step, but some examples might be: join a new class, call a friend who has been waiting to hear from you, let go of an old belief that has been dragging you down, the action is anything that will move your life forward. Believe in your dream and believe in the power of you!

“When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.”

—Sigmund Freud

Coaching questions:

1. What is the very first step you want to take toward your desire?

2. What is standing in the way of you taking action right now?

3. What can you do to remove the obstacles you identified in the previous question?

4. How will you be different when you believe in the power of your dreams?

5. What is your action plan moving forward?

Step Four: Get All of the Support You Need. 

I cannot say enough about getting support. You can get your family and friends involved or you can hire a coach. Either way, make sure that your supporters understand that your desires are important and not theirs.  You need supporters who are completely non-judgmental. They need to be comfortable with not knowing what is best for you. Only you truly know what is best. Find someone who will walk beside you on your path as they champion you. They will also invite you to grow and stretch beyond what is comfortable.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.”

—Anatole France

Coaching questions:

1. What support do you need?

2. What type of support best suits you, email, telephone or in-person?

3. How can your supporters best champion you?

4. What do you need to have in place so you can easily move beyond your comfort zone?

Step Five: Accountability is Crucial.

You can hold yourself accountable to do what you say you want to do but I have found that most people find it helpful to have someone else involved. It is easy to justify to yourself why you did not get things done. Now imagine telling that same story to your coach or your friend. Does it hold water? Probably not! Once again you will probably want to call on your supporters for assistance. 

“Accountability breeds response-ability.”

—Stephen R. Covey

  Coaching questions:

1. How can your supporter best hold you accountable to do what you say you want to do?

2. In what way can your supporter best measure your progress or lack thereof?

3. What do you need to have in place to hold yourself or allow others to hold you accountable?

4. What do you love most about being responsible and moving toward your desires?

I hope you are energized now and realize it is very possible to make your dreams come true! Let 2010 be the year YOU shine your light brightly for all to see! Begin to know yourself more deeply.

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

—Marianne Williamson

My intention is that this Action Guide moves your life in a positive direction.  If you decide it is time to work with a coach, I am available for a free consultation. Answering the questions on your own is wonderful but having a coach who assists you to take it to another level can be priceless! Email Coach Judith by Jan. 30^th and receive half off your first month of coaching. Put New Year Special in the subject line. If after the initial consultation Coach Judith and you decide you are a match for coaching you will start 2010 with a wonderful discount!

Do you want 2010 to be your best year yet? If yes, then jump start it with your own personal coach.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE

Copyright 2009

Judith Geiger, ACC

Certified Personal Success and Relationship Coach

Flying Change Coaching, LLC

All rights reserved.

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller

Your life can reach new heights that you never thought were possible! Join Coach Judith for a free, private (always confidential) coaching consultation.

Call 315 497 3059 or email.